i think i used up my emotional energy trying to leave things with lumardy in personal redemption and not hating. and then he clapped me several times and suddenly there were 4 other people trying to annihilate me<br><br>i’ll think of one every day and be wrestling myself between

fleegar

@shoutplenty

i ramble here and there, talk in circles, but

i wish i could put into words the unbearable pain i’m in every day

11/8/2024, 11:29:25 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i think i used up my emotional energy trying to leave things with lumardy in personal redemption and not hating. and then he clapped me several times and suddenly there were 4 other people trying to annihilate me

i’ll think of one every day and be wrestling myself between

11/8/2024, 11:29:25 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

the unadulterated hatred or fear or w/e it is when you start getting crushed internally (like my brain can’t accept my reality and needs to be cut off? i can’t explain this adequately), and feeling like it’s not so bad and i can fool myself into not worrying

11/8/2024, 11:29:26 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i’ve shot my nerves, lost my immune system, become quite bedridden and in steep cognitive decline. accepting fate and letting myself go without judgement is a nice goal but the pressure is so great it’s looking impractical unfort and more likely to be an emergency exit

11/8/2024, 11:29:27 PM

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