← @shoutplenty Twitter archive

fleegar

@shoutplenty

i am one of a type of person that has an instinct towards being useful. i remember when i was 14, i was alienated over summers and would sit around editing wikipedia. i don’t care for wikipedia. i wasn’t tryna impress anyone. there was some dopamine in it but not the point [1/5]

11/8/2024, 2:38:09 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

these days i work on my sms projects and it’s much the same. i said i’d leave it behind may 2021 and just, yknow, *take* from the community w/o giving back. another case of me trying to be normal. but it doesn’t work out cos they’re still my projects. i instinctively stick w them

11/8/2024, 2:38:09 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

especially now there’s a strong aversion to working on any sms stuff, i find i’m still doing it, cos it’s an autonomous behaviour. it doesn’t really feel dopaminey either. it’s more like, if you lose limbs, organs, then there are still primordial circuits that work to your nature

11/8/2024, 2:38:10 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it’s a type of id. comforting. my ego used to look at this and think, things will get better as i grow up. and i won’t be resorting to this forever. now i see i failed to grow up, and so it’s just about running down the clock, doing my little projects like a beaver building a dam

11/8/2024, 2:38:11 PM

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