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@shoutplenty
one thing i say to pacify myself is “nobody asked”
i have a lot of thoughts like, i want to be able to appear to others w/o years of malicious rumours about me giving them the creeps, or, i want to realise at least 1 or 2 crushes
basically wanting to be a normal person
11/5/2024, 2:54:19 AM
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@shoutplenty
saying “nobody asked” then reminds me that my life, hopes and dreams have no worth, and i don’t deserve anything
nobody does. but the fact that nobody cares about me helps me instinctively understand this, from a child’s pov where what matters is what the popular ppl talk about
11/5/2024, 2:54:19 AM
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@shoutplenty
so my pain means nothing and my life is just a state i can resolve as i wish. that’s comforting
it also reminds me that everything pre-lumardy (july 21) was just my fault. my bad decisions. i did it all to myself. everything post is my brutal punishment for existing despite that
11/5/2024, 2:54:20 AM
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