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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i was forwarded a massive stack of msgs from goldendevil tonite… i said a bit more in the open sms discord but here i wanted to just say, like

there’s a lot of progress there towards understanding the subjectivity of relationships, yet none towards understanding facts [1/8]

9/30/2024, 4:30:44 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it’s weird. i like this line a lot:

“those things are the kind of thing that create conflict – different worldviews and behavior that you have a strong revulsion to.”

that’s very mature. i can’t tolerate his manipulativeness and he my abrasion, and those are primal reactions

9/30/2024, 4:30:44 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

but it’s interesting he figures out smth so deep yet also states matters of fact, basic parts of the story, in totally false and stereotypically-bingo ways

cos there’s no desire from them to discuss what actually happened. there never has been

9/30/2024, 4:30:45 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

I decided not to shame him for his takes cos the allergy to truth stems from a deeper problem, and truth simply isn’t the saulnier way

like

they had this community leader invent an abuse conspiracy, inflame a bullying call and bury evidence that contradicted him

9/30/2024, 4:30:46 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

serial lying/manipulating/gaslighting is a very normal and expected behaviour, which isn’t considered abuse by anyone, just “cringe”

yet, in a way, the ability to reliably tell the truth is all i have ever had

9/30/2024, 4:30:46 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

so from their end, nobody cares at all that the lying is happening… they pretend to be all surprised when the liars brazenly show up in the community

and from my end, i can feel the malice and the impunity exuding from them. i can feel them socially abuse me and nobody care

9/30/2024, 4:30:47 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

ppl will get on me for why i would want jpep cancelled cos e.g. he only viciously coerced people into believing i was an abuser ~~once~~ twice

but for me, it’s like, i can see what he’s capable of and am terrified. partly cos there are so many of them. cos of the precedents set

9/30/2024, 4:30:48 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i’m only typing this cos i’ve been up 4h after this crippled my stomach with anxiety and i’ve had a weird impulse to self-harm i’ve been fighting off cos ik that takes me further away from where i’m tryna get to [8/8]

9/30/2024, 4:30:48 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

idk i keep thinking i’m just salty they pretend the most important thing is the truth. it’s the value they always act out. but ig that’s circular…

if the truth doesn’t matter then pretending the truth matters doesn’t matter cos the pretence being false doesn’t matter. yeah

9/30/2024, 4:30:49 AM

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