and at that point, the other person has full info and full power to choose to engage in w/e way ey wants in future. easy<br><br>you can yourself decide with what u know, whether you’re now less interested in building w/ that person or nah, same as how you decide friendships in general

fleegar

@shoutplenty

say you’re attracted to someone and that person publicly engages you in predatory sexual flirting to get a reaction out of others

weird hypothetical but bear with me lol. you’re at least friendly so

solution: dm the person expressing positivity towards the sexual advance [1/10]

9/24/2024, 11:59:53 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

so at that point, you might’ve broken the plausible denial and made the connection, or you might get an “i didn’t mean it” type response

if it’s the latter, just clarify you’d be interested in, say, yes hookup, no romance, yes friendship, and it doesn’t change things either way

9/24/2024, 11:59:54 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

and at that point, the other person has full info and full power to choose to engage in w/e way ey wants in future. easy

you can yourself decide with what u know, whether you’re now less interested in building w/ that person or nah, same as how you decide friendships in general

9/24/2024, 11:59:55 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

so why do things not work out the way i described? why indeed

my misplaying this situation is what precipitated my being abused and socially ostracised. it’s the first case and developed into the worst case

so i will analyse it

9/24/2024, 11:59:56 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

firstly, this kind of forwardness with intention is generally unheard of. if there’s no plausible deniability and it’s same-sex (i.e. socially proscribed) then the other person will get scared and it’ll tear down the friendship. your female friends are always “meant” to be hit on

9/24/2024, 11:59:57 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

yet your male ones are beyond the pale, breaking the etiquette. so as such, it’s socially disallowed, and you can correctly predict that you cannot be honest or else you’ll lose, well, a rare friendship that you’ve been using to dig yourself out of your failing life

9/24/2024, 11:59:57 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

and so the interaction stays ambiguous, with the other person having deployed plausible deniability to leave you guessing, thinking about how to play this social game. you’ll do chats where your friends vote on whether or not they think the flirt was sincere

9/24/2024, 11:59:58 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

predatory flirting itself indicates a personality disorder that brings with it all sorts of inappropriately seductive behaviours in public situations, which it’s easy to get ensnared in

it’d be easy to stay away if not for your, again, social loneliness, but also incelism

9/24/2024, 11:59:59 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

each interaction is much higher stakes when you’re desperate for both types of relationship, and so foremost you cannot do anything that might compromise the friendship

so that builds up into a tangle that explodes, you get accused of abuse and ostracised, and all ends naturally

9/24/2024, 11:59:59 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i say naturally because, looking at the background factors, it again seems clear that being ensnared by predatory flirting (incellism) and not knowing how to play the social politics (autism) are really symptoms of a life lost long before [10/10]

9/25/2024, 12:00:00 AM

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