fleegar

@shoutplenty

1upsforlife when personal responsibility: [1/7]

7/30/2024, 2:40:01 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

was also funny hearing jpep say i made him feel stalked after he spent months actually stalking guy2308 (after cancelling him) and randoms like ricrexx

i had a second jpep-related panic attack. w/o getting into what exactly caused it, i realised i must switch up my strategy asap

7/30/2024, 2:40:02 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

the problem this causes me is i can't let go of my self unless i achieve a ho'oponopono-like acceptance, and the pressure these people have subjected me to for 3 years w/ an overtly anti-reconciliatory destroyer approach has made it extremely hard, and it just keeps getting worse

7/30/2024, 2:40:02 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

some of my final writings i cannot do in this headspace, hence the panic. i had already been mentally blocked cos writing about coercive control and bullying had rly taken it out of me. it's a weakness of mine that i'm still here in the first place. however,

7/30/2024, 2:40:03 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i do believe i'm achieving smth good for awareness of social abuse here. i've reached a state i'm sure many victims know, where being honest about your pain results in accusations of manipulating ppl to feel bad about you. it's fine, i can just go it alone cos i'm hard as nails

7/30/2024, 2:40:03 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i spent like 20 mins pacing up the thames thinking about how scary it is that i'm not able to tell someone what happened bc i wouldn't be believed. that's the point i realised how directly responsible these 2 years of malign sms mods are for the pain i'm in

7/30/2024, 2:40:04 AM

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