it’s funny how your purpose is built on an empty biological act. theres no way to make sense of it; it’s dumb and u just have to do it. fail to get that under control and you’ll go a decade of your life leaving a petrol trail that eventually sparks and starts working its way back

fleegar

@shoutplenty

it’s kinda like a degenerative disease i guess. even if you take your mind off it, you later realise it’s been torching your brain one part at a time

i spent the last few hours lying in bed sporadically seizing up as the thoughts knocked on the door

5/8/2024, 5:26:34 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it’s funny how your purpose is built on an empty biological act. theres no way to make sense of it; it’s dumb and u just have to do it. fail to get that under control and you’ll go a decade of your life leaving a petrol trail that eventually sparks and starts working its way back

5/8/2024, 5:26:35 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i feel my organs be wrung out and crushed

don’t know self-harm so u don’t. don’t know addiction so you don’t. rather just feel the flames embrace u with no anaesthetic. u never felt grief till u felt it sober

5/8/2024, 5:26:35 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i’m sure i’ve made much of my struggle to internalise the reality of what lumardy did to me on the social front, but it’s completely equalled by what i did to myself on the sex front

sleep is coming back for me while typing this. no more shaking

5/8/2024, 5:26:36 AM

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