fleegar

@shoutplenty

i think it bears mentioning that it’s not in my interest to escalate conflict with random people this late into my journey

there are ofc many ppl who took conscious decisions to abuse me with whom conflict is unavoidable, but with everyone else it’s simpler to have peace [1/9]

3/14/2024, 7:22:44 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

abuse begets more conflict. i’ve found myself surrounded by coercive people who have taken advantage of my weakness to coerce me, which ordinarily i would defend by telling others but i now find simpler to work around, so i can stay focused on who is actually abusing me

3/14/2024, 7:22:45 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

the relevant people to focus on are sdll, jpitar, lego6245 and warspyking

i know everyone except me seems to consider warspy to have made “mistakes” but i trust my ability to read ppl enough to stand alone, and ngl i do find it hard to take their child-level analysis srsly lol

3/14/2024, 7:22:46 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

this does mean i believe every1 else isn’t intentionally hurting me, which is important cos i don’t then feel the pain, so i think it’s better to let it go in a sense

i did press them quite hard to step away from victim-blaming, which led them to double down, which i found funny

3/14/2024, 7:22:46 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

but i am now tryna de-escalate and let this go, which is prompting further doubling down, which i also find funny, but mostly don’t react to

i believe that focusing on the core abuse is a more effective strategy for my goal of resisting it and helping future victims

3/14/2024, 7:22:47 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

but i do also believe that the non-malicious ones are leaving a paper-trail of toxicity that they won’t be able to walk away from, not least because their main motive is suspending guilt, and i don’t think that can be done forever (unless you’re a narcissist)

3/14/2024, 7:22:48 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

this could be a misread from me but i think if you engage in darvo to defend an abuser and dig up dirt to muddy the waters then when the victim pays the price for that, you won’t be able to live it down. i’d love to find out if i’m right but some things aren’t for us to know haha

3/14/2024, 7:22:48 PM

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