fleegar

@shoutplenty

making false accusations in the first place is bad, but it isn’t game-over. things get emotionally charged. the play for the victim is to be patient and try to de-escalate

after months, it was clear things weren’t improving, so the play was to bring in mediators to sort it out

2/27/2024, 9:25:49 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it’s worrying that it’s come to a he-said-she-said and mutual doc-posting, where both parties’ narratives hardly take into account the other’s

even more worrying: not a single person has commented with the correct solution – an agreed mutual statement clearing things up

2/27/2024, 9:25:50 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i really do wonder from the pov of sms mods, do they think it’s healthy that 1upsforlife and i are still slinging accusations at each other, 1.5 years on? do they believe in mutually-assured destruction? or in ostracising the more socially vulnerable party? i can’t tell

2/27/2024, 9:25:51 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i’m p sure basically everyone who acts in good faith wants to see this end with an agreement. continuing to provoke division and entirely blaming the other person for defamation is a good tell for who intends to commit social abuse, as is, ofc, the use of secrecy and blackmail

2/27/2024, 9:25:51 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

in the case of lumardy, it was notable that he tried to co-opt his abuse doc as being about the initial false accusations rather than about the intentionally provoked division and ostracisation. his play now is only to hold social territory where he is considered right

2/27/2024, 9:25:52 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

and there’s nothing that can be done about that except working on keeping him out of public communities

i am glad to remain emotionally clear on both of them by putting in rather extensive efforts to de-escalate before realising they are intentionally abusing me

2/27/2024, 9:25:52 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

a final universal comment – for me, what makes the world inhospitable is the lack of common ground on morals for handling situations around, notably, defamation. strong beliefs pro–taking sides and anti–mutual statements. pro-escalation. that’s why i got ostracised twice [8/8]

2/27/2024, 9:25:53 AM

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