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fleegar
@shoutplenty
every passing week, i hit a new level of cognitive dissonance around what i thought i knew about ppl in my life and how they actually behave. it’s starting to get hard to follow what’s going on [1/6]
2/25/2024, 2:58:09 PM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
the last discussion in the sms community trial, someone had an emotional meltdown and blamed me for it yet to me it seemed i was de-escalating. i had several conversations of only being yelled at since then. someone crossed over from my irl friend groups to coerce me
2/25/2024, 2:58:09 PM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
i don’t get why so many people in my life are coercive. i had never seen them do it to anybody else. i keep seeing echoes of abusive behaviour from years ago from different people. it’s past the point now where i’m able to process what’s happening to me
2/25/2024, 2:58:10 PM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
it’s the strangest thing to see, that 2.5 years after lumardy (successfully) tried to eliminate
me from a friend group, the chain reaction of consequences still hasn’t ended and is catching a bigger and bigger share of my relationships
2/25/2024, 2:58:11 PM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
it’s weird cos there’s only 1 person evil enough to start the chain reaction, yet dozens of ppl can’t seem to end it. idk which is wilder
i was gonna say i’m rly scared and it’s prolly time to cut loose from them all, but tbh i already had a plan, just my feelings keep shifting
2/25/2024, 2:58:11 PM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
but it gets harder the longer it goes on. mostly cos of trying to understand + document what’s happened, while it all feels more and more like fridge noise in my brain
i don’t rly have much executive function over how i’m doing that anymore, just make vague instinctive decisions
2/25/2024, 2:58:12 PM
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