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fleegar
@shoutplenty
i can actually write down my whole flowchart for how i decide whether to forgive
step 1: if i can tell the apology is clearly disingenuous and the person has no scope to come to terms with what ey did and apologise better later, then that’s a no. same if there is no apology obvs https://twitter.com/TakiVT_/status/1739948829179592888
12/27/2023, 9:17:33 PM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
step 2: else: it depends how aware the person had been of the consequences of eir actions and so how deliberate the decision to do them was
if i don’t think some1 is guilty then i’m ethically obliged to forgive em
if i do, then it’s not impossible for me to forgive, but i see–
12/27/2023, 9:17:34 PM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
it as my discretion. i would selfishly forgive or not depending on how my emotions develop in time. i might forgive one day, but i might never, for all i know
i take into account future hurt the person causes me, not just separately but also in those emotions about past hurt
12/27/2023, 9:17:34 PM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
past hurt also establishes awareness/guilt for future hurt, as is relevant in step 2 above
some ppl wrongly see this as me not having forgiven someone for past hurt
so with that blueprint, anyone who hurt me once can figure out my current stance towards em
12/27/2023, 9:17:35 PM
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