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fleegar
@shoutplenty
today at 19 utc, there will be a discussion going into the topic in this discord. free entry as usual. i had no part in organising this so it might not happen for all i know but i was told to come then
i’m not tryna do any activism myself, i just talk about it here sometimes https://twitter.com/shoutplenty/status/1737110024156229912
12/24/2023, 8:29:37 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
as i prepare, i think about the central role gaslighting has taken in my life. both the sms mods and the sjw who’s targeted me irl are only distractions from the big one, sdll, which marked a turning point in trauma, survival drive and understanding my viability as a person
12/24/2023, 8:29:38 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
i think i engaged a lot with the sms conspiracy bc sms was my unfinished project, my routine, so i confronted the abandonment every day as i tried to finish it
the irl one i could forget about bc realistically i have no use for irl friends anymore. ig this is how i realised
12/24/2023, 8:29:39 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
it’s not possible to win when being gaslit. u can try engaging, or try ignoring, and it keeps coming back
sdll may have been horrific enough to single-handedly end my life but the impact of the other cases (and my mum, a fourth case that’s dormant rn) is still huge
12/24/2023, 8:29:39 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
i think, since most people like lying and think it’s nbd, they forget what the mental impact of gaslighting is. when u have often organised walls of ppl pushing down on you to accept false narratives, 24/7, and u are on your own, nobody there to remind u that they didn’t happen
12/24/2023, 8:29:40 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
then reality itself becomes distorted and nebulous. you lose the faculty to actually argue and prove things, bc u experience life as everyone around u lying all of the time. what, then, is the difference?
that’s the mindset with which i will enter today’s discussion
12/24/2023, 8:29:41 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
i remember like it was yesterday – i dreamt i was on a bus in childhood, tearing thru chiswick, while i held onto a radiator shaking my whole body w/ paralysing anxiety. ~1 day after the first round of social abuse by lumardy, 11th aug 2021
it’s a matter of time before i crack
12/24/2023, 8:29:41 AM
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