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@shoutplenty
in feb i said when it's done, now it's done
sms as a personal project is finally over, meaning i'm happy to leave erryth as it is and won't set any more major goals. i don't ever quit so it's all just doin as i feel and not gettin tied down from now [1/5]
https://twitter.com/shoutplenty/status/1623679666115563523
5/25/2023, 3:21:52 AM
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@shoutplenty
what next? nothing – and that's the point
a friend of mine said life is best lived as an unpredictable chain of commitments + things to work on. let yourself be occupied. and i agree. facing up to mortality is hell, so it's better to stay dissociated til one day, your time comes
5/25/2023, 3:21:53 AM
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@shoutplenty
the reason i chose to not do that is i was racking up an exploding amount of regrets, alienation, endless coping to where i felt completely dissociated from the stage of life i was supposed to fit at my age. i decided to sober up and face mortality
5/25/2023, 3:21:53 AM
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@shoutplenty
and question whether it was in my best interest to keep that up based on what i know about myself and the world. i haven't made much progress while i had that unfinished project, so now i wanna stop and reflect
but i'm aware my current purgatory has a heavy cost on me and others
5/25/2023, 3:21:54 AM
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@shoutplenty
the biggest problem is that i hold this sheer rancour towards the world for what's happened to me, and i have to let go of that. accept – but without copium – the past, and assess solely the future
so yeah, lots of sitting in a field in the coming days for me [5/5]
5/25/2023, 3:21:54 AM
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