fleegar
@shoutplenty
i’ve been enjoying the braindead grind of repeating the same 80-min speedrun over and over lately
i’ve always had all this pressure on my back to be productive and achieve my potential, internalised from capitalism and being on a low rung as a 2nd gen immigrant [5/5]
2/28/2023, 3:49:18 PM
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@shoutplenty
it feels great to be doing not much, something boring and unchallenging like getting better by just doing the same shit over and over
cos i’m letting myself act naturally and letting go of what’s expected of me
i dare say i don’t owe any1 anything after what i’ve been put into
2/28/2023, 3:49:18 PM
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@shoutplenty
life is just my sandbox now… and i’m actually increasingly ok with and enjoying being free of meaningful relationships and external restrictions on my behaviour. i just wasn’t coping well tryna fit in w/ my communication style and losing matchups to self-centred+manipulative ppl
2/28/2023, 3:49:19 PM
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@shoutplenty
it’s been a long journey but i think i’m now fully ok w being misunderstood. fighting that battle of secretly turning ppl against those who lie about me has never been worth my time, nor the right thing to do. i still stand on my own feet w my ethics, cos i cant act any other way
2/28/2023, 3:49:20 PM
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@shoutplenty
so overall, i’m just ok doing my projects and nonsense these days, and just being myself, a recluse w/ a ruthlessly honest twitter, with nothing i’m tryna achieve r.e. other ppl
i know that below lurk more serious, impassable problems, but that’s quite literally for another day
2/28/2023, 3:49:20 PM
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@shoutplenty
p.s. my “5/5” instead of 1/5 inspired me to add:
acceptance = being ok w typos, causing confusion, not making the most of chances to persuade, posting nuanced thoughts that get wrecked by the char limit, getting misunderstood, inadvertently offending
do yr best and accept it :)
2/28/2023, 3:57:31 PM
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