if his takes were so worthless then why didn't any1 counter them publicly? just acknowledging some1's work is an uncontroversial, positive response u can give. b4 i was banned, i was the only 1 who ack-ed equivocalgenius after he was banned. it's key to understanding who some1 is

fleegar

@shoutplenty

many ppl feel unacknowledged; it's easy to feel when u work on communal stuff. but i wonder if it can be quantified the extent to which it's rly the case

w/ my work on the sms il sheet, the lack of acknowledgement was even clear to others. e.g. i got told this in 2021 [1/9]

2/6/2023, 3:36:25 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

not to fixate on the opinion of an sms bingo player whom everyone i spoke to considered to have worthless takes, but being dismissed as a "negative force" and having all i was doing overlooked bc i wasn't commentating sms bingo epitomised this for me

2/6/2023, 3:36:25 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

if his takes were so worthless then why didn't any1 counter them publicly? just acknowledging some1's work is an uncontroversial, positive response u can give. b4 i was banned, i was the only 1 who ack-ed equivocalgenius after he was banned. it's key to understanding who some1 is

2/6/2023, 3:36:26 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i spent my whole life not seeking attention for the good that i did. i never bragged, nor did i self-efface. i just let ppl see and judge for themselves. but they never took interest

recently, i changed tack and started to acknowledge myself. 1 frame later, i got this reaction:

2/6/2023, 3:36:26 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it's like, even when u just speak positively, there's no winning

i realised at some point that if i was myself and waited for friends to see, they never actually saw. public work is a minor thing when you have friendships where the other person doesn't acknowledge you

2/6/2023, 3:36:27 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

having some1 act like a friend w a hidden motive to avoid being friends was really hard to get over

i look back again at the reasons i was bullied, i wonder about all the sms players who gave me a wide berth from day 1, never having been followed by a twitch partner,

2/6/2023, 3:36:27 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

accruing followers so slowly despite my positive contributions. the length of time it took for a friend to acknowledge being friends by following me vs proactively following randoms who he doesn't talk to but seem cool

i barely have an ego so didn't need acknowledgement at all,

2/6/2023, 3:36:28 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

until i realised the lack of it points to a much more serious problem, of being unviable for relationships. i'm sure there are all these rules i'm missing and if only i did xyz i would please abc. either way, clearly,

one of these things is not like the others

2/6/2023, 3:36:28 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i have written about the insanity of some of the friends i was victim of, but also, as in this thread, about the subhumanness in me that triggers their insane reactions. it's best understood as a two-sided issue where it doesn't matter who's to blame; this life just *is* [9/9]

2/6/2023, 3:36:29 PM

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