i kno it’s hard for me to understand this bc who someone is or how ey says smth basically doesn’t affect how i consider the substance of what ey says<br><br>but i really feel like it’s impossible to get heard unless you water down your criticism to the point of evaporating it

fleegar

@shoutplenty

said this 2d ago but still confused

if one does smth bad, gets called out, internalises it as being called an awful person, then refutes this w/ the times ey was called a good person, so concludes the criticism was invalid

isnt that the best way to leave eir toxicity to fester?

11/11/2022, 5:26:19 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i kno it’s hard for me to understand this bc who someone is or how ey says smth basically doesn’t affect how i consider the substance of what ey says

but i really feel like it’s impossible to get heard unless you water down your criticism to the point of evaporating it

11/11/2022, 5:26:20 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it really is ok if one disregards a criticism; the criticiser shouldn’t feel offended then. u have to let go and let ppl act as they want and not vest an interest in them doing what u want. then u can decide what to think of them

(not talking about ppl in accountable roles here)

11/11/2022, 5:26:20 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

this is a double-edged sword however – i feel like i could’ve preserved some friendships if i’d intervened earlier and influenced them to behave a certain way

but my gut instinct is to let them be and start by assessing if my issues w/ them are my own fault. i think that’s right

11/11/2022, 5:26:21 PM

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