fleegar

@shoutplenty

happiness is being 11

🧵[/13] a childhood story of video games and online friendships

10/28/2022, 1:54:27 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i first started playing video games aged ~8 when my cousin showed me a cd of old dos games labelled "daytona game pack" (plot twist: there was no daytona game). he didnt speak eng so he just called it "ga meh". it was mostly @plbmgames, softgame vermont, stuff from our birth year

10/28/2022, 1:54:28 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i got used to playing pc clones like that, like this https://youtu.be/afb1FR0wCSo by a 🇺🇦 studio. used to write about them in year 5 english. id also crack them all using warez sites of the day like thebugs .ws, which at the time were riddled with soft porn. i thought nothing of it

10/28/2022, 1:54:29 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

2005 was jokes. theres serialsafe .ca, a place to "back up serial codes", and u were meant to overlook that every entry was public. and i remember fetching a crack in front of my mum's friends, explainin away the boobs like, "sometimes u have to see that to get to the games"

10/28/2022, 1:54:29 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

they remarked that gaming sure was getting more intense... but trusted me cos even then i seemed like i knew what i was doing lmfao

10/28/2022, 1:54:30 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i chased a fleeting mem of a mario clone, instead found 1 called "mario forever", joined the forum on 30/12/2006. that was my first online community. my op is from there. the dev had recently abandoned it so it became his mods yelling come back while drowning in 12yos talking cak

10/28/2022, 1:54:32 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

i drifted away, got into emulators, finished pm64 and cried, then bought my (current) wii in mid 2007, played sms+smg when the latter came out. i stayed in touch w them tho, chatted after skl, and remember telling 14yo jordy from 🇦🇺 on msn how cool exploring pianta 3 was

10/28/2022, 1:54:33 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

since the dev was still missing, we went our separate ways at the turn of 2008/9. one of the forums is still up and has me aged 13 learning to not be a dickhead

communication is so high-stakes now compared to back then. im scared i'll get abused again for it

10/28/2022, 1:54:35 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

but my nicest memory of those ppl is when i chatted with a boy 2y younger. it was about where we were from. he taught me what windchill was. i wonder if i'll see my mario forever fren again. many usernames inc. Lakitu, from a small city in ontario, born [i know the day] oct 1996

10/28/2022, 1:54:36 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it fucks me up that this 10yo was born within 2 months of a composer/guitarist i know and respect to death, who wrote some of my fave music, like this https://youtu.be/7i_ySegEzIU (i was at this and all)

but thats what i mean. you aged 10 and aged 20 may as well be different ppl

10/28/2022, 1:54:37 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

when i went to serbia, i grappled with this regret of some1 i knew at 12 who was rly cute and the only friend of my cousin who was interested in me – chatted about "space mario" – but i was too disinterested. i considered reaching out but realised the same: he's someone else now

10/28/2022, 1:54:37 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

you've never met any1 as disturbed to be an adult or as obsessed w childhood as i am tbh. i guess i'm really having a hard time letting go. u usually have some force like a career or a romance dragging u thru stages of life and making sure u don't get stuck in the past like this

10/28/2022, 1:54:38 AM

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