it hurts me a lot that, like, faced w heavy adversity all my adult life, my reaction’s just been.. to sit there and take it. not even for lack of trying. i’m just incapable of not bein mediocre. i can’t wrangle my life into smth worth living. some people could from my position

fleegar

@shoutplenty

8/30/2022, 5:33:47 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it sucks cos my personality is obvs very out-there, and i have several creative talents, and i rly can’t fit in w the consumerist ideals of most ppl in my environ

but smth is fucked in my head. i think i am rly just a coward. a state of mind entrenched into my essence

8/30/2022, 5:33:48 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it’s been 15 years of comfort zones, not going after desires, and censoring my thoughts and my feelings, even from myself

it’s not self pity. i gave up cos i realised i was incapable of bravery, and deemed the ordeal to fix that as not worth cos bein alive has no intrinsic value

8/30/2022, 5:33:49 AM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

this stream of thoughts is brought to u by my insomniac reading about counterculture, id est massive attack and graffiti in britain

8/30/2022, 5:33:49 AM

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