ppl were so sad about this and he left behind the most haunting sax solo on this song shortly before he died that still gets at me... a bright, generous, positive influence on all his friends with so much to offer. it's starting to sound familiar <a href="https://fb.watch/7yeHjJhCb2/">https://fb.watch/7yeHjJhCb2/</a>

fleegar

@shoutplenty

i just had this fantasy of ending it david turay–style and then re-read the article and thought, "no, that cannot be me". god, what a cold fucking article. https://www.ilfordrecorder.co.uk/news/crime/talented-wanstead-high-school-pupil-found-dying-3029916

8/22/2021, 6:12:13 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

ppl were so sad about this and he left behind the most haunting sax solo on this song shortly before he died that still gets at me... a bright, generous, positive influence on all his friends with so much to offer. it's starting to sound familiar https://fb.watch/7yeHjJhCb2/

8/22/2021, 6:12:13 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

it's just hard to reconcile with the fact that i do think my life failed and i wanna wind it back and start again. and i can't heal from anything when life is acute pain. starting, again, at the crux – living here is literal torture and there's no escape.

8/22/2021, 6:12:14 PM

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fleegar

@shoutplenty

the construction noise stopped and the rain came so i've calmed down a bit for now

sorry for venting here but i'm undergoing an unfettered mental breakdown and don't wanna put it on anyone in particular

i will try to do the next sms task this eve to distract myself

8/22/2021, 6:12:15 PM

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