← @shoutplenty Twitter archive
fleegar
@shoutplenty
i lost the friend i spoke to the most these past 12 mths the other day and i think the most painful aspect is the void it uncovers. i have no job, can’t escape oppressive living conditions, have no family relationships. it adds up to a hole i feel i can’t come back from
7/8/2021, 2:51:26 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
it takes motivation to find new friends, seek a job, get the money to leave home, but it’s hard to come by when most waking minutes are spent looking at the void or doing some vapid activity that distracts but doesn’t fulfil
7/8/2021, 2:51:27 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
i yearn for friends to be so present these days cos i don’t have work to occupy me, but nobody from my walk of life is present cos they’re all too busy working. i fell off the rails of my life’s progression so i will never be fulfilled from my friendships
7/8/2021, 2:51:27 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
likewise i don’t know how to get a job, so have no hope of moving out, and cannot get my mum to understand me no matter how hard i try
7/8/2021, 2:51:27 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
i think i took a huge loss in not sorting out instruments or a practice room arrangement for music, cos engaging in my one and only passion / best coping mechanism would’ve gone much further towards filling the void than aimless competitive gaming and voluntary work
7/8/2021, 2:51:28 AM
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linkfleegar
@shoutplenty
but at the end of the day the void is always there, i trudge thru life waiting for friends or employers or someone to show me compassion and pull me out of the air-crash. but ig i’ll just wait forever, carry myself from day to day until maybe one day i can’t anymore
7/8/2021, 2:51:28 AM
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